Last night's CF was a very special one. No, its not the events, I get to talk about some important issues with some of my very precious friends. Their view did not came as something new. But knowing that there are still people like that around you can be a very special feeling, this is something I'm sorry to say I'd forgotten for a long time due to distracting issues. My religion and believes aren't really that important. In the end, it is whether people really see you as you are. I do not know how I appear in your eyes guys, but I have faith in you all. Thanks...^^
But like one of them said, "The trials are always there, we did not fall for temptation, we are just weak as humans and failed in a hard trial, that's all". Now that is some sort of comforting view if I apply that to some of my problems in life. I wasted no time in trying. Well yes. Immediately the effect is obvious. But in the light of a new view of things a new control of the mindset is in line. As well as a whole new load of patience to adjust. The last part didn't work out too well. Ending up having a quarrel with my loved one. Even now as I write I'm actually fighting on the other end. But I do see alot of people around me is facing different types of problems. Each as damaging to them as mine to me. I do wish I can help them, even though I'm not in a fit state to do that. Trying to emphatize with others is what I'm trying to do, and failing miserably...God knows what'll become of me...perhaps I've lost sight of the important things, too deluged in my own thoughts to realize that...
The world revolves when we keep thinking and explore new ideas, life is never meant to be easy, full of trials, one might say, and we as humans are weak. But I do believe that each of us holds the power to perservere, and hope will keep us going. I do hope I can, I really do...
Hosanna...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Smearing the first smudge; first entry...
Sigh*...Once again I have chosen to seek solace in blog writing. After coming to this earth for 20 years, I honestly didn't accomplish much. But keeping a blog may be a good way to check my line of life as it progress, of course, with the assumption of consistent entries will be added. ^^
Today wasn't any special to me. Had a presentation this morning that did not went too well, failed my History of English Language (HOEL) quiz yesterday, enjoying a sinus-free day now after 5 days of agony, and to top the cake with icing; entered non-speaking terms with the one I love. *Sigh...Being a guy I'm pretty much pathetic, since I couldn't do anything more than rant on my new blog...AND I'm suppose to be doing my assignments and revise for my imminent finals! Honestly, WHAT has gotten into me?
Just to think back on the changes that has befall me since uni-life. Quite alot, actually. My first love is here (though I never get on with a relationship even though I wan to), I started to pay a steeper attention to my grades, and of course, meeting with a lot of people has brought a decent change as to how I 'mask" myself in the public nowadays. Putting my present self next to the past, eyup, I couldn't recognise myself any more...
As to how my life had become, well, it is pretty much your average uni-student style. The first and biggest problem that came was, of course, how I communicate with my parents. A drastic change is always accompanied by dramatic conflicts. But praise god That was settled early back at the beginning of the year. Now I'm fairly comfortable with my family. Next was my grades. This pretty much depended on how much efforts I am willing to dish out, simple sow and reap. No regrets, though it could've been better. It ain't as simple as studying everyday. Having reach the beginning of my twenties, I had recognised the fundamentals of commitments I need to shoulder; sports, social life, extra-curricular activities, and even house chores. Sounds pretty insignificant but I do think these shape who I am today, since these are the things I chose to fill my life with.
But I really don't know how to handle a love relationship effectively. Perhaps I started wrong, or even are holding on to the wrong sentiments. I know very well what I am capable of doing, and the consequences of all choices presented upon me. Though I used to be very composed, in front of her I just loose my sanity. Now I know what it feels like to have a long term heartache. But after all those complaints, I know my feeling towards her is genuine.
Though pretty much an atheist now, I do try to believe in God. So I shall leave it to him to guide to do what is right. I believe there are plans out there for each of us, I truly want to see how mine will be.
Guess this will be the end of my first entry. I must say my style of writing haven't change much ever since I first blogged. Let's just see what brings before the next entry.
Hosanna ^^
Today wasn't any special to me. Had a presentation this morning that did not went too well, failed my History of English Language (HOEL) quiz yesterday, enjoying a sinus-free day now after 5 days of agony, and to top the cake with icing; entered non-speaking terms with the one I love. *Sigh...Being a guy I'm pretty much pathetic, since I couldn't do anything more than rant on my new blog...AND I'm suppose to be doing my assignments and revise for my imminent finals! Honestly, WHAT has gotten into me?
Just to think back on the changes that has befall me since uni-life. Quite alot, actually. My first love is here (though I never get on with a relationship even though I wan to), I started to pay a steeper attention to my grades, and of course, meeting with a lot of people has brought a decent change as to how I 'mask" myself in the public nowadays. Putting my present self next to the past, eyup, I couldn't recognise myself any more...
As to how my life had become, well, it is pretty much your average uni-student style. The first and biggest problem that came was, of course, how I communicate with my parents. A drastic change is always accompanied by dramatic conflicts. But praise god That was settled early back at the beginning of the year. Now I'm fairly comfortable with my family. Next was my grades. This pretty much depended on how much efforts I am willing to dish out, simple sow and reap. No regrets, though it could've been better. It ain't as simple as studying everyday. Having reach the beginning of my twenties, I had recognised the fundamentals of commitments I need to shoulder; sports, social life, extra-curricular activities, and even house chores. Sounds pretty insignificant but I do think these shape who I am today, since these are the things I chose to fill my life with.
But I really don't know how to handle a love relationship effectively. Perhaps I started wrong, or even are holding on to the wrong sentiments. I know very well what I am capable of doing, and the consequences of all choices presented upon me. Though I used to be very composed, in front of her I just loose my sanity. Now I know what it feels like to have a long term heartache. But after all those complaints, I know my feeling towards her is genuine.
Though pretty much an atheist now, I do try to believe in God. So I shall leave it to him to guide to do what is right. I believe there are plans out there for each of us, I truly want to see how mine will be.
Guess this will be the end of my first entry. I must say my style of writing haven't change much ever since I first blogged. Let's just see what brings before the next entry.
Hosanna ^^
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