With Danny Elfman's "The Little Things" blaring inside my room, eyup, what a great atmosphere that speaks for itself. Finals, over. Results, crashin for sure. Wallet AND cellphone gone at the same time. Don't you just love the people in this world? No hesitation to pick up something that clearly aint theirs. Yes, a certain blardy bastard juz made me lost nearin RM900 worth of asset in 10minutes. If theres any salvation for this guy, that is keepin his identity a secret from me, else nothing in this world be it mortal or not won't cancel his ticket to being my stress relieve. Hell yes, definitely not in the mood for any soft negotiations.
Well, with that hell-bent desire kept safely in a corner of the heart, I'd havta say I'm nt completely a berserker right now. Yes, the moment I can't find it in the hall, I know very well its very much a goner by then. Thought might give the world a chance to redeem itself in my eyes. But nope, that dint happen. Its as forsaken a place as I last remember it. Its not in my nature to brood over lost properties. Pointless, if you ask me. But that does not mean I enjoy it neither, the heavy feelings won't disappear so fast. Juz one of those times when you wish killin weren't illegal...
But then again, I know very well that if tat bastard return my properties to me, I'll very much forgive him. Typical, thinking of forgiving someone who has no intention of asking for it...But my lost aside, I'm pretty worried about my results as well. If a blessing is to come after misfortune, let it dawn upon my results. Though, reality does not change that easily. Twenty years of living had taught me a lesson that i'm someone that will never have de luxury of good luck, in EVRYTHING. For me,its either sink or swim till your lungs burst in this helluva place called earth...
Friday, September 25, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
In Memory Of CWKit
Hm...12am, 14th September 2009...That marks the third year I guess. Time passes so fast, tears no longer fall and the pain has long since numbed. But the sentiments did not fade, though there were times when I forgot bout it, just a small flick is enough to remind me its there...I'll be visiting you at 9am, wonder if the atmosphere there will invoke anything special...
Death has a very special way of bringing out the best of someone. Guess that is why they say we never cherish anyone till they're gone. You may have no idea how much you mean to us back then, neither do we. But the moment you're taken away from us, reality made itself very apparent. And for the first yet sadly the last time, your life's worth spoke for itself. The tears that run on everyone's cheek that day was not for show. The meaning of your death has taught each of us a very important lesson. Though it may probably differ among us, I do believe that so far its the most cherished and valuable we have gained.
I do wonder at times what will become of us if you are still around. Your leaving is somehow a significant impact on our lives. I know not about others, but I do know that what I am today had a great deal to do with you. Since young, I may not be your closest buddy but I do desperately chase after you from the back all the time. You excel in sports naturally and a daredevil as well. All I'm capable of is walk in your shadow...*sigh...Not only aims in life, but the way my mind think is greatly influenced by you. How materialistic you are, extreme measures just to achieve your cause yet hurting no one, ignorance of others and holding firmly to what you believe is right (the very same reasons why we fought so much...^^) Till the moment you're gone, you still taught me how subtle reality is. Due to that, I view the world in a way not comprehensible by many who did not go through the lost of someone so important in front of their eyes.
Come to think of it, I never really took much pictures with you. I still remember we had plans to go all out crazy if we're to work at Genting again. I didn't join you for the first time, thus I missed the last time as well.
This pose of yours do remind me of what idiots we are back then; not a care in the world. I can very much see ourselves growing up like alot of those "kids" surrounding me now. Will your sense of "justice" overwhelm you and make enemies for us again??? I dunno...I never really got into as much trouble as you...
18 is indeed too young an age to go, but we who remained here on earth will not let it go to waste. Its stupid how we wish for death sincerely over trivial matters like stress and love issues. You, who had it forcibly taken away from you must be so willing to trade places I guess. But I think your friends will promise you this; we WILL live to our utmost, as not to insult the life you lost. As much words as I can put in here, they will never be able to express your worth in our lives and how much you mean to us.
Missing you sincerely bro. May you rest peacefully in heaven...
Death has a very special way of bringing out the best of someone. Guess that is why they say we never cherish anyone till they're gone. You may have no idea how much you mean to us back then, neither do we. But the moment you're taken away from us, reality made itself very apparent. And for the first yet sadly the last time, your life's worth spoke for itself. The tears that run on everyone's cheek that day was not for show. The meaning of your death has taught each of us a very important lesson. Though it may probably differ among us, I do believe that so far its the most cherished and valuable we have gained.
I do wonder at times what will become of us if you are still around. Your leaving is somehow a significant impact on our lives. I know not about others, but I do know that what I am today had a great deal to do with you. Since young, I may not be your closest buddy but I do desperately chase after you from the back all the time. You excel in sports naturally and a daredevil as well. All I'm capable of is walk in your shadow...*sigh...Not only aims in life, but the way my mind think is greatly influenced by you. How materialistic you are, extreme measures just to achieve your cause yet hurting no one, ignorance of others and holding firmly to what you believe is right (the very same reasons why we fought so much...^^) Till the moment you're gone, you still taught me how subtle reality is. Due to that, I view the world in a way not comprehensible by many who did not go through the lost of someone so important in front of their eyes.
Come to think of it, I never really took much pictures with you. I still remember we had plans to go all out crazy if we're to work at Genting again. I didn't join you for the first time, thus I missed the last time as well.
This pose of yours do remind me of what idiots we are back then; not a care in the world. I can very much see ourselves growing up like alot of those "kids" surrounding me now. Will your sense of "justice" overwhelm you and make enemies for us again??? I dunno...I never really got into as much trouble as you...
18 is indeed too young an age to go, but we who remained here on earth will not let it go to waste. Its stupid how we wish for death sincerely over trivial matters like stress and love issues. You, who had it forcibly taken away from you must be so willing to trade places I guess. But I think your friends will promise you this; we WILL live to our utmost, as not to insult the life you lost. As much words as I can put in here, they will never be able to express your worth in our lives and how much you mean to us.
Missing you sincerely bro. May you rest peacefully in heaven...
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Countdown to Annihilation~Pure Ranting
Sigh....What exactly am I doing here in the middle of the night? Yes, in roughly about 30 hours time I'll b sitting for my first paper of the finals - History of English Language (Cheers and Applause), therefore I should REALLY be studying rite NOW!!! Honestly I'm just taking a break from a 2-hour session of Brain-Abuse (I'll file a legal suit with the Brains Welfare Association) And what I really feel like doing right now is take a cool shower and head to bed. AH~~~~what blissful wishes~~~~well....they're not happening... T.T
As much chaotic as my mood had been throughout the week, I believe I really hid it well. I don't think anyone noticed that I'm ready to scream out in frustration and agony, AND I really feel like giving everything up and just let the world consume me then. But by some miracles, I manage to sober up a little, just a little, enough to allow me to continue living, I guess. What really happened, I couldn't exactly put it in words. Thoughts just consume one another inside the mind; Logic and Sentiments are waging a fierce war. Though, I'm glad its at least stopped for now, allowing me to do some decent reading and blogging.
Just why is it I'm letting my sentiments control me like that? I still remember days when I swore to myself that I, of all people, will not let this happen to me. Logic and Reasoning will always be my guide. Enlightenment perhaps? Not really sure...But i do notice that I've managed to emphatise more (perhaps, even easier/better, can't tell) with people posed with the same or similar issues. Come to think of it, I recall my friends telling me "its not easy for us to tell you why, you need to experience this to understand" and also "these must be felt, you cant justify it using logic reasons." Wow...Now I can see that its true. Perhaps for you guys reading this right now you can't really feel what I'm going through, possibly even just laughing your head off for multiple reasons I myself can sum up. But its really something incomprehensible; how feelings can rip you off sanity...
For the sake of those that actually read till this part of my blog, I'm sorry I have to say that I CAN'T tell you why I'm in such a chaotic mood. In respect to another individual involved (though you might be able to guess what's happening by now) I can't post too much here. But if you are still reading, please remember that I'm glad you are here. Blessed be all of you who stood by me^^ I am happy I found alot of friends that are true to me. Thanks. Now I should head back to the book^^
P.S. If there comes a day where I changed for selfish reasons that are inevitable, I will not bear a grudge if you all turn your backs on me, all of you had did enough for me, be it intentionally or not...
As much chaotic as my mood had been throughout the week, I believe I really hid it well. I don't think anyone noticed that I'm ready to scream out in frustration and agony, AND I really feel like giving everything up and just let the world consume me then. But by some miracles, I manage to sober up a little, just a little, enough to allow me to continue living, I guess. What really happened, I couldn't exactly put it in words. Thoughts just consume one another inside the mind; Logic and Sentiments are waging a fierce war. Though, I'm glad its at least stopped for now, allowing me to do some decent reading and blogging.
Just why is it I'm letting my sentiments control me like that? I still remember days when I swore to myself that I, of all people, will not let this happen to me. Logic and Reasoning will always be my guide. Enlightenment perhaps? Not really sure...But i do notice that I've managed to emphatise more (perhaps, even easier/better, can't tell) with people posed with the same or similar issues. Come to think of it, I recall my friends telling me "its not easy for us to tell you why, you need to experience this to understand" and also "these must be felt, you cant justify it using logic reasons." Wow...Now I can see that its true. Perhaps for you guys reading this right now you can't really feel what I'm going through, possibly even just laughing your head off for multiple reasons I myself can sum up. But its really something incomprehensible; how feelings can rip you off sanity...
For the sake of those that actually read till this part of my blog, I'm sorry I have to say that I CAN'T tell you why I'm in such a chaotic mood. In respect to another individual involved (though you might be able to guess what's happening by now) I can't post too much here. But if you are still reading, please remember that I'm glad you are here. Blessed be all of you who stood by me^^ I am happy I found alot of friends that are true to me. Thanks. Now I should head back to the book^^
P.S. If there comes a day where I changed for selfish reasons that are inevitable, I will not bear a grudge if you all turn your backs on me, all of you had did enough for me, be it intentionally or not...
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